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Blaming Others

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Symptoms

and Techniques to Overcome it

Your Coachee can’t admit his/her own failures or mistakes, preferring to blame others, so that he/she can escape responsibility.

3 Key Strengths

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​Help your Coachee acknowledge and leverage his/her strengths to overcome challenges instead of focusing on others' weaknesses that prevent him/her from thrivin​g. In this scenario, he/she is directing (and redirecting) the conversation back to the central issue: what your Coachee CAN control. 

 

People who use their strengths every day are:

  • 3 times more likely to report having an excellent quality of life, 

  • 6 times more likely to be engaged at work,

  • 8% more productive,

  • 15% less likely to quit their jobs.

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Ask your Coachee to identify his/her key strengths:

What does your Coachee gets complimented on? What do his/her friends value? What do colleagues or boss value? What does your Coachee like about himself/herself? When does he/she feel in the flow?

GoMasterCoach app, including Strengths

The Empty Chair

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The Empty Chair Technique helps the coachee verbalise what’s going on, the abstract becomes more concrete. As the coachee takes on the other person’s role, he/she gains insight into his/her own perspective as well as the other person's.

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The Coachee faces an empty chair, picturing the person with whom the Coachee is experiencing a conflict, speaking to the empty chair about the situation, feelings and thoughts. Then, he/she moves to the other chair, responding to what has been said from the other person's perspective, taking on their role. The Coachee can move back and forth several times to continue the dialogue. Meanwhile, you can explore with questions and insights.

GoMasterCoach app, including Tools and Programs

The 360

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The 360 is the difference between the perception of self and how others see the person. The 360 may help bridge that gap.

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Ask your Coachee to think of 5 people whose opinion he/she respects and trusts. Ask them for a 360 feedback. For example: what are the coachee's key strengths, achievements, what they value the most about your coachee and one area of improvement.

GoMasterCoach app, including 360

Common Symptoms

  • Blaming others for his/her feelings or problems

  • Escaping responsibility

  • Not admitting his/her own failures or mistakes

  • Victimisation, for example complaining about the same problem vs acting

  • Resentment as a default mode

3 Techniques

to Help Overcome Blaming Others

Sources:

  • The Impostor Syndrome: Becoming an Authentic Leader, by Harold Hillman, Chris Abernathy, et al

  • The Mindfulness Workbook for Addiction: A Guide to Coping with the Grief, Stress and Anger that Trigger Addictive Behaviors (A New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook), by Rebecca E. Williams PhD and Julie S. Kraft MA

  • Coach's Casebook, by Kim Morgan

  • Compassion for All Creatures, by Janice Gray Kolb

  • Perfectionism: A Practical Guide to Managing "Never Good Enough", by Lisa Van Gemert

  • The Fulfillment of All Desire, by Ralph Martin

  • Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment, by Tal Ben-Shahar

  • The Disease To Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome, by Harriet B. Braiker

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